The first time ever I saw your face
by Koufukuron
Summary: When she looks back on all that has happened ever since the ryoka came to save her, Rukia can't help but feel guilty at all the hurt she thinks she brought to all who intervened, especially Ichigo and Renji. Yet, as the two of them think about the incident, all they can see is how they were very lucky, the first time ever they saw each other's faces. RenIchi, oneshot.


**TITLE:** The first time ever I saw your face

 **CHAPTERS:** 1

 **WORD COUNT:** 1,989 words

 **PAIRING:** RenIchi

 **SUMMARY:** Rukia thinks she brought misery, pain and suffering to two of the men in her life she loved very much, yet for Ichigo and Renji, all they could think of was how that was the best thing that ever happened to them, that first time ever they saw each other's faces.

 **RATING:** R, because there's no mention of sex in this one - but all the sweet, glorious shounen-ai available. A first for me given my recent few pieces, heh.

 **DISCLAIMER:** Kubo Tite owns BLEACH – and I still can't figure out why they cut the anime right after the Fullbringers arc. It would've been so, SO awesome to see Zanka no Tachi in all its animated glory.

 **NOTE:** This is actually the fourth piece I intended to post in my RenIchi/IchiRen short collection, "inu to tsuki" - when I looked at the word count, though, I thought I really should respect the nearly 2,000 words I wrote on the two dorks and post it as a standalone piece, rather than as one short story in a compilation of many. Which is not to say I don't love the other pieces in that collection - just that given the length of this one, I thought it didn't really belong with the rest of them. Hence why I've decided to post this one as is, as a fic on its own - enjoy! This is the original as it was when I finished writing it in 2013 - I think I left it half-completed till then. As always, if you liked what you read, please review and/or favourite!

* * *

 _The first time ever I saw your face_

 _I thought the sun rose in your eyes_

 _And I knew our joy would fill the earth_

 _And last 'till the end of time, my love_

 _\- Fayray, "The first time ever I saw your face"_

* * *

The first time ever they had seen each other's faces, it had been on the streets of Karakura district, on a sticky summer night, the cicadas unusually silent as if they had a foreboding of what was going to happen.

Ichigo remembers the icy wave of fear that had gripped and paralysed him when Renji's reiatsu had flared up, the orange-haired boy thinking that he was going to die there and then.

Renji remembers that at that time, Zabimaru had been at Ichigo's neck, the orange-headed shinigami on one knee, blood streaming down one side of his face, even as Rukia could only watch, horrified by the event that was about to unfold before her eyes, Ishida lying unconscious on the ground behind her, while Byakuya looked on impassively from a distance, standing under a lamppost, his lengthened shadow fading into and blending with the darkness of that night.

 _"_ _I'm really sorry, kid; nothing personal against ya, and for a non-trained fighter you're actually pretty decent – hell, ya could go for one of the mid-ranked seats in any division – but orders are orders, and I can't go against my superiors."_

Renji had raised Zabimaru and was about to run it down and through Ichigo when the teenager grinned rather crazily, a maniacal expression in his eyes, and leapt forward and up, catching him off guard and slashing Renji's left shoulder, wounding him enough for the redhead to drop his sword as he clutched at his wound, and it was then as Ichigo was about to make one more blow, the stroke that would've ended the battle between them, that Byakuya had stepped in, his eyes cold, his face expressionless even as he very deftly and neatly sliced Ichigo's blade at the hilt.

It had taken Renji all of his willpower, as he walked through the gates of the Senkaimon leading back to Soul Society, not to turn around and cast one final, guilt-ridden glance at the Kurosaki boy who lay on the pavement, his blood spilt around him, the crimson in stark contrast against the gray of the concrete, and he barely hanging on to that fine thread between life and death after Byakuya had rather cruelly severed his soul sleep and soul link and forcibly taken Rukia back with them, the steadily falling rain seemingly the sky crying on her behalf – and to some extent, Renji.

For he knew in his heart that what Rukia said was right, that the Kurosaki boy had no crime in taking Rukia's powers because she had bequeathed them to him out of sheer necessity, and that he had indirectly caused the death of an innocent.

The second time they met each other, it had been before the flight of steps leading up the hill to Senzaikyuu, where Rukia was being imprisoned prior to her execution.

As he looks back on that incident, Ichigo couldn't help but remember how close a fight it had been between him and Renji.

It had been a ferocious battle, to the extent that much of the surrounding infrastructure had either been completely demolished or had gaping holes left in them, while Ganju and Hanatarou could only watch from a distance, cowering behind what was left of a set of walls and absolutely terrified at the sheer amounts of reiatsu and wild instinct the two of them were exhibiting.

But in the end, it had been Ichigo who won, shattering Zabimaru and wounding Renji across the chest in one single colossal stroke. And as he fell, gasping for breath, Renji could only recall the image of Rukia's back, clad in the white and red garb of the Shinigami Academy, running ahead of him as it had always done, a figure he could barely catch up with, one that would always be just that much beyond his outstretched hand reaching out, if only to even futilely grasp at her for but one moment.

So when Renji, bloodied and wounded, a huge slash across his body, had struggled to his knees and, lurching forward on unsteady steps, yanked Ichigo's shihakusho, crimson flowing down his face, Ichigo could only gape as Renji had shaken him with the last of his strength and pleaded him.

 _"_ _As shameless as it is, I'm asking this of ya – please, save Rukia for me!"_

Ichigo, eyes downcast, could only utter his agreement and watch as Renji, finally exhausted, collapsed to the ground, his mane of red hair flowing everywhere, before his own vision became blurred and he dropped next to the redhead, Ganju and Hanatarou scurrying out of their hiding places, their shouts of his name growing softer as he blacked out, the pain of his battle wounds finally seeping in.

Renji thinks that that was the first time he had placed his faith in Ichigo, while Ichigo simply finds it a miracle that they both hadn't died there and then – but that was because Hanatarou had been around, God _bless_ that boy.

The third time they met each other, it had been in that huge hidden cavern with Yoruichi, where Ichigo had been trying to attain his bankai.

In the one day they spent training together feverishly after Renji had brought the news about Rukia's execution being pushed forward to the next day, they had developed some sort of partnership, if not at least a mutual understanding, regarding the whole situation.

Renji couldn't help but be a little concerned, seeing the way Ichigo was fighting Zangetsu rather blindly, just grabbing a sword and charging at him randomly and recklessly, and when he asked Yoruichi if Ichigo could really make bankai that day, she had, while staring at the teenager, simply told him that he definitely would, without taking her eyes off him.

Ichigo remembers that he had, out of the corner of his eye, seen Renji glance at him with a look in his eyes he couldn't quite place a finger on then, before he turned and left, Zabimaru on his shoulder, the sound of straw sandals against sand and rock growing softer and softer.

The fourth time they met each other had been shortly after, when Ichigo had saved Rukia from the Soukyoku and Renji had arrived at the top of the hill after defeating several guards who were in his way, him panting and leaning heavily on Zabimaru and not quite in good shape yet, still recovering from his defeat at Byakuya's hands, and some of his bandages had started turning red, from barely-healed wounds being ripped open again and blood seeping through the white of the fabric, but otherwise in one piece and very much alive.

There's no downplaying the fact that both of them would never, _ever_ forget when Ichigo threw Rukia like she was a rugby ball straight at Renji, her very petrified screams still audible in their ears despite it being so long after that incident. Renji still remembers how he was barely able to catch Rukia (and got thrown back a good few meters in the process), and how they both had screamed their heads off at Ichigo, the words "dumbass", "idiot" and "buffoon" featuring very prominently in their accusations.

Ichigo, though, had only grinned and yelled at Renji to take off with Rukia – and Renji could only comply; after all, that was what he had came for, and he certainly wasn't going to stand in the orange-head's way, after having witnessed his power first-hand. As he ran off with Rukia in his arms, though, Renji couldn't help but turn back and glance over his shoulder, and his eyes widened when he saw Byakuya going up against Ichigo, the latter smirking at how he was able to block the former's blade once again.

Renji had turned his head around to face front again and closed his eyes, praying for Ichigo to stay safe and not die, even as his grip on Rukia tightened almost protectively.

The fifth time they met each other, it had been after the whole Aizen fiasco, when both of them were lying with their beds side-by-side in one of the rooms of the Fourth Division headquarters, wrapped from head to toe in swathes of white bandages, their room containing just the two of them and strangely quiet despite the bustle going on outside beyond the closed door.

Both of them remember facing each other and looking into each other's eyes, and simultaneously turning away at seeing something unreadable, yet familiar and understandable, flicker in brown and sepia, faint blushes growing on their cheeks as they recognised the same emotions they had been feeling towards the other in each other.

It had been some time before they gathered enough strength between them to turn back to look at the other, before their hands reached out uncertainly, hesitatingly, meeting in the middle and clasping each other, the warmth that flowed through them instantly a soothing salve, calming the jarring pain that jabbed at their wounds.

Renji remembers that he had curled his lips up at Ichigo, who gave a small smile in return, the kind filled with gratitude, relief and love that didn't need to be emoted to make itself known, even as their fingers wove together, their grasp tightening, the orange-head's smile growing brighter, the shine of his eyes gentle and warm as the older shinigami laughed softly, a musical note to Ichigo's ears.

So after the whole string of events in Soul Society, when Rukia tried to apologise to Ichigo for having nearly killed him, Ichigo snorted and smacked her on the head, telling her that she was far too long-winded for her own good no thanks to Byakuya, even if she happened to be a few thousand years older than he was, and Renji joined in with another smack and a roll of his eyes, retorting that she was insulting their efforts to save her just by trying to apologise.

Because, as Ichigo thinks back on all that has happened so far, he realises his fate wasn't to eventually die when a black-haired shinigami had given a junior high school student all her powers even as a Hollow came charging towards them, that one fateful evening.

Rather, his fate was to fall in love with a loud-mouthed, red-haired idiot, who had been to Hell and back with him – and who would gladly do it all over again; not just once, twice, but for as many times as Ichigo had to descend into those dark depths.

And Ichigo loves him very much.

Renji, too, upon reflecting upon all that had taken place since that very first evening in Karakura, thinks that if Rukia had never given her powers to him, then Ichigo would've never become a shinigami, and he would've never met him – and tried to kill him the very first time they met, too, that encounter admittedly not being under the best of circumstances. Some days, though, his guilt about nearly having done so overwhelms him, and he falls moody and silent, a far cry from his usual loud, boisterous self. Ichigo, knowing why he feels that way, sidles up to him, draws him into an embrace and murmurs into his ear that he doesn't have to feel bad for that, that all that's history now, that he himself did a pretty good number on Renji back outside Senzaikyuu, so they're even now, and that if it, ironically, weren't for him and Byakuya that day, he'd never have gained his current powers, so he should be the one thanking him instead.

Renji usually snorts softly and rolls his eyes in response to that, even as he settles into the warmth of Ichigo's body and lets himself be overtaken by that familiar sensation of tenderness, but he knows there's truth in Ichigo's words, that he doesn't hold any grudge against Renji or Byakuya, the good-natured man he is, and he doesn't doubt that for one single moment.

And Renji loves him very much, too.


End file.
